POEM: WHAT NOW

And it is in this place where my heart beats

Vibrating to the darkness around it

Seeing spaces release where pain hangs out

And every once in a while a tear

Solidarity with my flame

My inner voice struggles to find her ehco

Beached against rocks that are raw and cold

And remembering becomes impossible

But I take a step and breathe

And float like an amphibian out into the sea

Cold lake, cold water, cold inlet

Roasting like a piece of coal in a sauna

Snaked between yesterday and half a year

Twelve months holding me captive in time

Do I disappear or persevere

Do I come up to look around

Or stay hidden underground

Time has a way to unravel the tightest knots

So for now I will knit a sweater to hug me close all night.