Thank you body for keeping me alive. You are a GODDAMN WARRIOR and I am forever grateful.

This healing journey has not had any healing involved. In fact, as I look back, and not that far, I can see that my journey was more of a dance of avoidance. I was expending so much energy trying to tip-toe around healing. Never truly diving deep, just really scratching the surface, if that. Making up excuses, sabotaging attempts at receiving help and advice.

I spent more time screaming and yelling at my body telling it everything I hated about it. Telling it how disappointed I was. Falling to my knees and begging it to carry me. I felt abandoned, abused, neglected, and betrayed by my body.

After my most recent trip to emergency which comprised of a third blood transfusion AND healthcare professionals telling me my blood was critically low and not life-supporting, I changed my view of my body.

See, my body was carrying me. My body was protecting me. My body was in survival mode. There was no way in hell my body would shut down. It was in beast-mode, pulling out all the stops and functioning like a GODDAMN WARRIOR. It was waiting for me to walk alongside it and join in the journey of healing.

So here I sit, with a different attitude and reverence for the miracle that is my body.

Without worry I open space to receive

With gratitude I say thank you

With grace I believe

With ease I begin to heal